Real love
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
Reality tv, Disney, and the entire “Romantic Comedy” movie genre have painted a beautiful picture of love. They have made millions with soundtracks and scripts that pull at our heartstrings. The problem is that this love is often not built on anything more than butterfly feelings, promises of perfectly impossible futures, and selfish desires for consistent happiness. We have fallen in love with a romanticized caricature of love. As much as culture tells people to “trust your heart,” the Bible reminds us that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it” (Jeremiah 17:9). Disney love won’t carry a marriage through the loss of a parent or child. Rom-com love won’t carry friends through a disagreement. Butterflies and infatuation are not sturdy enough to be your anchor when the storms of life begin to rage. When the world is divided by poverty, racial tension, and fear, we need real love. We need the relentless love of Christ that loved us even as he hung on the cross. We need the kind of love that pushes a wife to pray for her husband despite not seeing immediate change. We need the kind of love that brings a daughter to forgive her imperfect father. The kind of love that sees a prodigal son from afar, refuses to place judgment and welcomes him with open arms.
This season is going to challenge your views on love. It will show you the ways superficial love is inadequate for the way Believers in Jesus are called to live. So today, even if you don’t feel it, will you love anyway?
Prayer:
Jesus, thank you for real love. When I watch movies and listen to certain music, I start to think that love should always feel good. I selfishly think I should always be put first, and I forget that the Kingdom of God is not like the culture. Please help me not to create an idol out of romance, but to truly understand love. In Jesus’ name, amen.
You already have a Boaz.
“The women said to Naomi: ‘Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in old age…” (Ruth 4:14-15)
Growing up, conferences, sermons, and Christian culture was obsessed with the idea of “finding our Boaz”. The story of Ruth was used to paint a picture of the type of men that we should all pray for, and all the ways to attract him. In the book of Ruth, Boaz is described as “a worthy man,” owning property, of good character, and of good social standing in the community. When Ruth was poor and helpless, an immigrant in a new town, Boaz prays a blessing over her (Ruth 2:12), sees to it that she is provided for beyond what would have been normal (Ruth 2:8-9, 15-16), and later becomes her redeemer. Talk about a catch! Now I don’t know about you, but hearing about excellent men when I don’t have one myself can be hard! Part of you is hopeful that one day you will know what it feels like to be loved well, while the other part wonders if God’s pick for you really exists.
What if I told you that you already had a Boaz and you just may not be looking at him from the right perspective?
What if I told you that when you were poor and helpless; unmarried and uncovered; lacking the means to repay him, there was a man who noticed you? Now you may not be aware of this, but when you weren’t looking, he commanded his servants to give you an extra portion of peace, joy, comfort, protection. All of your life he has been watching over you, praying for you from his seat (Romans 8:34). What’s more is this: while you were lost in sin, surrounded by loss and regret, he redeemed you. In the Bible days, the law of Moses made it so that if a man died, the next available male family member would take on the cost of providing for his family and land (Leviticus 25:25-30, 47-55). In the story of Ruth, Boaz was not the family member responsible for redeeming Ruth. However, because he saw that someone else had left a void, he stepped up to the plate. Your Boaz did the same for you. While your sin and shame were not his fault (he actually committed no sins of his own), he stepped up to the plate and paid the cost with his life. If you’re confused, I’m talking about Jesus! Jesus is the one who stepped in, paid the price, and redeemed us back into God’s family after sin separated us. Jesus is the one who is the lover of your soul. When you were uncovered and were left to wander the world on your own, Jesus clothes you with salvation and righteousness (Isaiah 61:10)!
This Valentine’s Day season, do not let social media or movies make you drown in feelings of loneliness or lack. Instead, think about Boaz, and how he is only a picture of Jesus. And know that before you could love him, he loved you first. On your best day, and on your worst day, Jesus is committed to loving you without fail. For my single sisters, one day you will meet the man God has for you. My prayer is that you would be so well-acquainted with the love of Jesus that you are not impressed with anything less than a man after His own heart. You’re already loved, sis. Happy Valentine’s day.
Let’s talk love languages.
(Romans 8:31-39)
Most people know about the 5 love languages. Whether you perceive love more through acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, or gifts, the idea is that we all have a “language of love” that our brain is able to perceive. It explains how I can show love in one way (say, gifts) and the other person still feels a love deficit because their context for receiving love didn’t value gifts as much. It highlights another way that humans are such complex beings. Personally, on top of the five known love languages, mindfulness is another thing that communicates love to me. Have you ever felt like everyone had other things going on in their life and were too busy to remember details about yours? If you have, then you also know how impactful it is when someone goes out of their way to remember that test you have coming up, or they remember to check up on that family member you were praying about. Mindfulness shows that on top of everything I have going on, you were on my mind.
God is the most mindful being you will ever encounter. He literally mapped out your entire life before your parents ever got together. He went out of his way to know every hair on your head, and your every thought before you even think it. He knew every mistake you would ever make and, before you could decide to love him back, he sent his only son Jesus to die for you. Have you ever had moments that felt like severe coincidences? For example, you ‘just so happened’ to meet that person at that exact time, and they had exactly what you had been praying about? Or, have you ever been sitting in a church service and it seemed like the pastor had been eavesdropping on your life? No coincidence, that’s the mindfulness of God.
Romans 8 is one of my favorite chapters in the entire Bible, but these specific verses give my heart unspeakable joy. It paints a picture of the lengths that God the Father went to in sacrificing Jesus so that we might be able to know Him. In all his power and authority, he chose to justify you and me! If that isn’t enough, then we have God the Son (Jesus) who freely gave up his life to give us access to what he already had. He loves us so much that even now, he sits at the right hand of the Father, interceding on our behalf (vs. 34). Then, because the Trinity exists as a unit, we have the Holy Spirit, who dwells within us leading and guiding us each step of the way. You, my sister, despite your relationship status, are surrounded by love. Immeasurable, unwavering, relentless love. So, if your love language is receptive to knowing someone would:
Give- God gave his only son; Jesus gave his life
Words of affirmation- The entire Bible testifies of God’s love for you, and his affirmation of your true identity
Acts of service- Your very life is an act of God’s kindness and generosity
Physical touch- The Holy Spirit is a comforter in times of trouble
Quality time- Every time you spend time with God, He will meet you as long as you like. He never grows tired of you
…then welcome to the most loving relationship you could ever be in.
Love is (still) the greatest.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love” (I Corinthians 13:13)
In life, relational conflict is inevitable. To put it plainly, people are going to get on your nerves- it’s okay. In those moments, Believers have two choices: they can either respond based on emotion OR they can respond like Christ. I could pretend that I always run to respond like Christ, but honestly, it can be a real struggle! Recently, my ability to practice what I preach was put to the test. One of my friends presented me with a frustrating situation that honestly triggered my natural reaction to respond as myself. I wanted to, and would have been justified in taking on offense. I could have argued my point until I was the last one standing. However, in the back of my mind, our series on love began to minister to me. I thought about how love is patient and kind, how it requires sacrifice and is a witness to others of God’s love. God even sent another person into my life to remind me that the enemy doesn’t just want me to hold onto negative feelings, he also wants me to let my feelings fuel my behavior. The enemy wants you to rehearse and replay every way that you have been wronged in the past. He wants you to convince yourself that you are justified in your pettiness, unforgiveness, and selfishness. If you needed a sign, here it is: love is still the greatest. Love, when you choose it, can anchor you when feelings want to toss you to and fro like the wind. Love is your ever-present way of escape, driving the get-away car away from relational damage.
At that moment, I won the battle over my emotions. I chose love and I chose to trust that what God was trying to develop in me was more important than being right at the moment. That was a major win! However, today is a brand new battle, a war between my spirit and my flesh. The same war is raging within you every moment of every day. You can choose God’s way or the enemy’s way, those are your only options. But be encouraged! While prophecy, tongues, and knowledge; popularity, wealth, and fame all pass away, love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Will you choose love today?
Prayer:
Lord, thank you for giving me another way to live life. Letting my feelings lead is honestly exhausting. I feel stronger when I know I chose You in a situation. Please help me to continue to feed my spirit so I may pass the next test that comes. Today, I love You more than my reflexive responses. I actively choose You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Get it from the source.
“‘As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.’” (John 15: 9-10)
Have you ever felt burned out from loving others and responding to life in a way that glorifies God? I know I have, and I would even venture to suggest that Jesus was tempted in this area too. How can we, with human limitations, be expected to love the most imperfect people? “I’m not Jesus” is not a worthy excuse, sis, sorry. In this passage of John, Jesus gives us a very straightforward solution to burnout, fatigue, and weariness—get plugged into the source. He tells the disciples that the way he has been able to love them was because he was simply copying the example of the Father’s love. Yes, he was fully man and fully God, but the same principle applies to us, carriers of Christ’s Holy Spirit. The reason Jesus was able to give hope to others, heal the sick, love those who cursed him, and forgive the very people who killed him was a life completely submerged in the Father. After accomplishing something great in his ministry, Jesus could be found in a quiet, isolated space, in prayer. He knew something that many of us forget— apart from God we can do nothing effectively. We may be able to fake kindness for a while in our own strength, but the enduring, resilient, unwavering love that Christians are called to requires supernatural power.
God, how do I remain connected to you in such a crazy and distracted world?? I love God because He doesn’t ask us to do things without modeling and instructing. Verse 10 clearly gives the answer: keep my commands. Now, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with all 10 Commandments, so Jesus also helped us by narrowing it down to two, with the first being: Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). I believe that once we are so focused on learning about God’s love for us and loving him back, the ability to love others well will be an overflow. When it feels like your ability to love is running on E, it’s time to run back to The Source.
Prayer:
Lord, thank you for being my source. Thank you that all the strength I need to love others well comes from time with you, and surrender to your ways over mine. Thank you for Jesus’ example. Please help me to love even when I don’t feel like it so that others will come to know even a fraction of the way You love them. I love you more. In Jesus’ name, amen!