He will give you the desire.
“Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
“In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, ‘Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head’.” (1 Samuel 1:10-11)
We started the month discussing the story of Hannah, and how in order to receive from God we must be willing to admit what we desire. Today, I’m here to suggest that this popular psalm does not paint God as a genie, but instead as a master gardener dropping seeds of desire into our hearts. Hannah desired a child so bad that it affected her ability to eat, to have peace, and to have joy. Maybe it’s not that she finally cried the magic number of tears to move God to action. Maybe it’s not that she gave the perfect offering during service. Maybe us wanting or manifesting a thing doesn’t actually move God at all.
I wonder if God actually gave Hannah the desire, to begin with.
Like what if God actually created Hannah with this intense desire to have a child and knew how long to withhold it. Hear me out. He knew to withhold the desire to the point where the baby wouldn’t be average, taken for granted, undervalued. Instead, Hannah was so desperate that she was actually willing to do with the child whatever God wanted. What if, the longer you wait, the more your carnal plans and motives for having it are forced to die?
Only God knows how long, what environment, and what circumstances will break you of your flesh. I wonder if Hannah waited so long she got past wanting to get revenge on Peninah. At this point, she was ready to dedicate this child back to God for his entire life--if only He would satisfy her desire...His desire.
For you and me, I believe the same is true. God has planted your desire for a family, for a successful business, for financial freedom to bless others. I also believe that the enemy loves to pervert and twist what God establishes as good. The way that God may be helping you to remain surrendered to His will, is by making you wait.
Prayer
God, sometimes I get tired of waiting. I feel crazy for still wanting this thing that never seems to be coming for me. At times I feel like Hannah as I watch others receive what I cannot. Today I see that You gave me the desire in the first place! Help me to surrender to your perfect timing, trusting that You will withhold no good thing from me. If I don’t have it, it’s not good for me yet. I love You more than the desire. You are enough for me. Amen
Favor in the “Before”
“But to Hannah, he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb.” (1 Samuel 1:5)
Normally having children would be the factor that would bring a woman favor in this time period. In the Old Testament, children were a symbol of wealth and prosperity. Here, it is not an example of earned favor, but favor that is orchestrated by God Himself! Hannah was given a double portion of food, not because of what she gave her husband, but because he loved her. I hear Holy Spirit saying “I will give you favor where you don’t even have the visible fruit yet. I will cause people to see your areas of lack and open their hands and hearts anyway.” Do not be prideful and refuse generosity in this season! People’s choice of you won’t really make sense because they’ll choose you in your “before”. Before the fruit comes. Before the prayer is answered. Before you produce and birth what plagues you in its absence. They will choose you before you have a following; before the book is picked up by a publisher. In this season you will be free from thinking that the blessings of our Father rest in your own works. In this season you will learn to rest on grace: the unmerited, unearned, undeserved favor of God.
It will be the unmerited favor of God that will cause the unmerited favor of man/woman. Not the other way around. Don’t stop at praising the man or woman when the favor starts. Instead, look past the man or woman and see the God who loves you even in your “before”. The only God who, before we loved Him, loved you and me enough to send His only son to die for our sins! Do you see how this scripture is merely an illustration of the way you are already favored, despite what man chooses to do?? Hannah would not have even needed the extra portion of food without kids to feed...but God! Let every instance of favor in your life point you back to the God who did it first, and did it the best.
Prayer
God, thank you! Thank you for the reminder that You are in control of everything that happens down here on Earth. Thank you that you use whomever you want to use to accomplish your purpose. I thank you that even when you are withholding something from me in one area, your love for me never ends! Help me to receive favor as truly a gift from You instead of falling into the trap of performance. I love You more than the lie that I have to produce before I can be loved. I love you more than getting distracted by what I am lacking. Help me to remember how much You have favored me by sending Christ to bear my sins.Thank you for loving me “before.” In Jesus’ name, amen.
What do you know?
“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)
What do you know?
My mother taught me growing up, when you know something to be true, you don’t have to go back and forth to prove your point. Last night I was getting ready for bed and I thought about the scripture “be still and know that I am God”. And I started thinking of all the things I know about God. Not things I’ve heard or things that have become cliched: but my actual knowledge of what it means to say that He is God.
So I started listing:
You said you won’t allow me to be tempted beyond what I can bear;
You created the heavens and the earth with no help;
the earth is your footstool;
you are all powerful and all knowing;
your word says that there is no condemnation for them who are in Christ Jesus;
You loved me so much that you sent your only son so that I could have life and a closeness with you.
Then I had trouble remembering real Biblical things so I started thinking about my own life. I know:
I coulda/shoulda/woulda been pregnant or have a disease because of my disobedience;
that car veered into my lane but it swerved just in time;
I should’ve lost my mind in this job because everyone else around me had to quit but You kept me;
everything that I lacked from my natural father, You have provided for me;
I’ve never starved a day in my life. I do not need to worry about money.
I could go on, but basically I began to add detail to what it really means to know that He is God. Yes, I can say He’s God but if that doesn’t mean anything to me or immediately give me hope, then what good is it when all hell is breaking loose? Being still doesn’t always mean restricting physical movement. I can be in my classroom, in the middle of teaching and still be still. Being still requires taking authority over the thoughts that sometimes run rampant in our minds and make our situations appear bigger than the God of the universe. I hear God saying “still your plans, still your fears, still your tendency to put a plan A, B, C, D in place in case this doesn’t work.” Still yourself long enough to focus on who you KNOW He is. And like my mama said, if you know something, you don’t have to go back and forth to prove it. Not with people, not with the enemy, and not with yourself. Be still, and KNOW.
There ought to be a correlation between my stillness and my knowing.
Reflection: What do you know about God? Write it down, meditate on it this week. How does this knowledge make it possible for you to still your own actions, and allow you to rest in this season?
Today, I love You more than letting my fears scream louder than my knowledge of who You are.
Remain.
“I will remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
(Psalm 27: 13-14)
“Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself but must remain in the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me.”
(John15:4)
I was only a dog owner for a few days, but one trick that stayed constant throughout the endless YouTube videos was the command for “stay!”. Of course each video varied in it’s technique, but the idea is that an owner must immediately begin to establish the expectation that their dog will stay seated despite whatever instinct is telling him to move impulsively. This is most often seen around a dog’s mealtime. You know the drill. Owner pours food. Dog comes running. Owner says “stay”. Dog looks longingly at food, but is resolved to sit as obedience somehow rings louder than hunger (that’s a word for another day). Normally, the dog’s wait time is only a few seconds before his owner allows him to eat, and all is well.
Now, we may not have anyone forcing us to wait for a command to eat our food, but I believe we all could use a refresher on the command to “stay”. See, the dog is not in an isolated environment where he is without distraction. He hears his master’s voice but there is also the sight and smell of his food. If he’s in public, there may also be the distraction of people walking around and various noises. However, despite all the distractions, the word “stay” literally grounds him and makes him sit. In our lives, there are so many distractions! There are various versions of ‘truth’, ever-changing definitions of success, traps for comparison and sin, and the list goes on. There are tragedies and unexplained loss. There is injustice and a never-ending display of the wickedness of the human heart. Nevertheless, Jesus gives us this command to remain, or stay, in Him.
Throughout scripture, we see instances of the consequences of those who leap to action, ignoring this instruction. The children of Israel began to worship other gods and missed out on the promised land. Peter took his focus off of Jesus and literally began to drown. For us, some have turned away from the faith and find themselves wrapped up in the ways of this world. Have you been wondering why you can’t seem to stay at peace for more than a few hours or days? Are you trying to love your spouse well and find yourself still harboring bitterness? Do you lack the self control to stop sinful cycles? Jesus tells us that we cannot bear fruit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control- without remaining in Him. What if, instead of adding more books and conferences to your plate, you took time to sit and talk with Jesus? What if you turned off the news and deleted Twitter for a little bit, choosing to read about the character of Jesus?
God never said that the world would stop presenting distractions. In fact, if you’re waiting for that moment you will continue to be disappointed. But there is another option! Instead of being pulled to this care and that care, we can choose to remain. Despite the circumstances, we can remain in the One who never changes.
Prayer:
Hey God, this word was for me. I hear You telling me to focus on you but there is so much happening around me. My emotions tell me to jump into this, the culture tells me to care about that…I am tired. I don’t fully understand how to stay hopeful when there is so much evil in the world. I want to be like Jesus, but I don’t always know how. Please help me to remain in You. Please deepen my roots in this season so that no matter what comes, I will stay true to my devotion to You. Thank You for being consistent and trustworthy. Thank you for being my anchor in the storm. Help me to actually choose to hold tightly to your word, despite the opinions of others. Today I love You more than whatever else calls. I will remain. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I don’t know.
“ ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8)
During the last election, a campaign person called me to ask who I was voting for. It was my first real election as an adult and I told her honestly, “I don’t know yet. I’m going to pray about it.” She sounded disgusted, and I wondered why it was such a crime to actually acknowledge God in all my ways, even the seemingly obvious political ones. As an individual and a culture, sometimes we pride ourselves on having the right answers at all times. The discomfort of silence is so unbearable that we would rather say the wrong thing than choose to refrain. You can just watch people around someone who just lost a loved one. The aversion to wise silence is astounding.
This season is teaching me that sometimes the most “saved” thing to do is admit I don’t know, especially when it comes to God and the position He takes on our human dilemmas. Some things are absolutely as black and white as the font in our Bibles, but others are not as explicitly stated. Sometimes I think I know what God wants and then the opposite happens. Did I hear wrong or did the flawless God make his first mistake (I can give you a hint)?
It can get really confusing to try and predict each move God will make, which is why there is rest in the conclusion that His ways are not my ways, nor are his thoughts my thoughts. Sometimes I simply can’t know with absolute confidence. I even wonder if there is danger in always assuming we completely understand what God wants to do in a situation. This false assurance can result in some pretty radical actions. Remember when that disciple cut off the ear of a soldier, only to be rebuked by Jesus himself (Matthew 26:51-52)? I’m sure he genuinely thought he was doing God a favor. Even Samuel, an anointed prophet almost chose the wrong king (1 Samuel 16: 6-13). He had to be so in tuned with God and unmarried to his own understanding that he was able to make the correction. History is full of people who thought they were running with God’s will, only to be proven wrong (American slavery, anyone?).
Today, I concede to the truth that while on earth I can only prophesy in part and understand in part, but when I see Jesus, it will all be clear. Today I leave room to acknowledge my human error.
Prayer:
Lord, I surrender my understanding. I admit I don’t know! I need you to guide my every move. Have mercy on me when I get it wrong, and humble me even when I get it right. Everything I understand is only by Your Spirit. Help me to stay near your heart so that my mind becomes more and more aligned with yours. Ultimately, have your way. In Jesus’ name, amen.