Welcome the breaking.
“But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)
I heard somebody say “if God loved me, I would never go through seasons this difficult.” On the contrary, what if I told you that welcoming the “breaking” is a sweet offering to God. The phrase that comes to mind is ‘Gracefully broken’. I interpret the phrase as a state of being broken spiritually, yet finding rest in the knowledge that God’s grace is overseeing the whole process. It’s like you’re being broken of habits, ways of thinking, old relationships, etc.—but it’s not really you breaking. It’s all the things that have attached themselves to you since you entered the world. See, when God formed you, you were without insecurity and disease; without depression and loneliness. You were whole and complete. But when you entered the Earth, equipped with a unique assignment, Satan immediately began his assignment— to kill it, steal it, destroy it, and distract from it.
Going through seasons of being broken (by God) breaks those things that have become so engrained within your identity that you had begun to accept them as reality. Let me be honest: because they’re so attached, breaking hurts. That’s where grace comes in. Grace holds the real you together as you mourn over the old pieces of yourself that crumble away. It feels like you, yourself are breaking. Grace waits patiently through your metamorphosis and provides insurance while heaven waits on the edge of her seat for you to come into the fullness of who you were called to be (Habakkuk 2:2-3).
Every misstep; every setback. Every wrong turn; every moment of despair and desire to give up- grace is being poured out on all of your inadequacies. Grace reminds you that where you are is exactly where you are meant to be in your life story. You are not racing the clock. You are not racing to earn God’s love. You won that before you even began the race. He loves you whether it takes you 5 days or 5 years. His love is not something that comes and goes based on how you do on the test.
Do not take your tainted view of love as the world has prescribed it, and try to apply it to a perfect God- whose love knows no bounds and doesn’t limit itself only to the “perfect”. Rather, the all-powerful God gets to know everything about everyone and offers up a perfect love anyway. And He chose you. YOU.
Prayer
God, thank you for loving me in the middle of my process. Thank you that there is nothing about me that surprises you. Thank you for knowing me to my core and choosing me anyway. Help me to love myself and to see myself the way you see me. Show me that your grace is enough for even my season of stretching and breaking. I love you more than my comfort. Help me to welcome the breaking so that I can come out on the other side looking, sounding, and acting more like You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
The chicken before the egg.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)
Balance is one of those things that I believe is in a constant state of achieving and trying to re-achieve as new seasons bring new demands and responsibility. Balance is, for me, a cruel test where the questions are always changing, but the skill itself remains constant. At the core of it, I struggle with balance because I struggle with priorities. It’s one thing to say that God is my priority, but when school, my boyfriend, Netflix, and sleep all begin asking for time, am I truly committed to God having His spot? Truth be told, I am not always strict enough with life about my boundaries with time. I tell God, “but I have 28 kids in my class so I have to bring work home that’s why I can’t pray tonight.” or “I finally got a boyfriend who loves you and me, so I have to make time to talk to him instead since we’re long distance. But thank you for the blessing!” Backward, right? Never fear, the Holy Spirit grabs me whenever I start to drift a little too far left. He told me to “set your mind,” which means to decide something and stick with it.
For example, if God put those specific kids in my class, then He has already made the provision for their care. He has already made out the details for how they are going to be taken care of while I am present AND when I am away, nurturing my spirit. My job is simple and singular. Matthew 6:33 says it this way: “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” That means if I am unapologetic and unwavering in seeking the kingdom-His will, His mind, His timing, His strategy- then the promise can be fulfilled. The promise that provisions of peace, energy, love, patience, words, wisdom, connections, will all flow naturally.
Prayer:
Thank You, Lord for your infinite wisdom. I don’t have to get all my juggling perfect before I sit down with You. I sit down with you, period. I make it a non-negotiable in my day, and by grace, the juggling will come naturally after. It is the chicken before the egg. Focus on nurturing the source first, and the biproduct will come. Thank You for a growing sensitivity to balance. Thank you for the gentle reminders and wisdom to re-adjust. I love You more than the things I continue to put in your place.
Challenge:
Make a list of everything you have to do today, this week, this month. Now put God in a set time. I challenge you to adhere to His time above anything else, and move your life around Him. See if He won’t give you grace and favor for the “all these things”. He deserves to be your priority in real life, not just on paper.
He’s still a provider.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6: 33-34)
As I was preparing to graduate from college, and contemplating all of the variables that must be taken care of (apartment, car, job), I found myself struggling with anxiety. My mind would race with all of the areas I felt were lacking and I did not see where the answers were coming from. After finally taking my concerns to God, I was reminded of multiple commands in the bible where God instructs His children not to worry. In Matthew 6, verses 25-34, God reminds us of His track record for provision. He details the way that He alone has provided for each bird in the sky, the flowers, and the grass. Nature stands as a testimony to the faithfulness of God. Jesus challenges us in verse 33, that instead of worrying about all of the truly trivial concerns that our Heavenly Father knows we need, we should turn our energy to fully seeking Him.
I wonder who you could be if you devoted your energy to learning about God and seeking His will for your life, instead of worrying about the day to day details that He has already accounted for. Trust me, the thought is scary at times. I, an independent woman, trusting my entire life to a God who seems to come whenever He feels like it? Yes.
It has been in the moments where I accepted humility and surrendered my worries to God that He has truly shown up and sustained me. Here I am, two and a half years post-grad, looking back on the way that every single one of my needs has been met consistently. Were there times when my account balance needed to touch the hem of His garment? Of course. Were there moments, days, weeks where I had to pretend that a pb&j sandwich was a luxury? Too many times to count. However, I never starved, never had to wonder where I would sleep, and God’s presence never once left my side.
I urge you to stretch your faith muscle this year. What are your doubts? What need is keeping you from fully walking in the A-list blessings God has for you? Take some time to write them down, transparently, and then make an active choice to remember the massive competency of your Father in heaven. Whenever you forget, look outside at the birds. They are fed, warm, and equipped with everything they need. How much more does Dad love you?
Prayer
Heavenly Father you have a perfect track record of providing for each of your children. Thank you for keeping me safe from harm, providing my needs, and even some of my wants. I am sorry for the times I was too busy worrying about the details to be grateful for what You’ve already done. Please help me to keep my eyes on You. I trust you to meet my needs according to the riches of your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.
It is so.
“So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)
I was listening to one of my (s)heroes, Sarah Jakes Roberts, and she said this line that jolted my spirit: “It’s too early in the year to be giving up on what God told you to do.” For me, January is always a huge period of vision. God shows me the mountaintop of what He wants to do in this season; it’s full of excitement and anticipation. If I’m honest, though, the day-to-day can be exhausting, stretching, and does not yet look like what I see in my dreams.
I hear God saying to stand anyway. To keep making the vision plain and praise Him for how big it’s GOING to be. Things that you gave up on last year. Let this be your reminder: it’s still coming.
It is so.
Every word God has spoken to you. Everything, literally and figuratively, that you are called to birth in the Earth- it is so. No devil will stop it. No insecurity or fear will block it. No inadequacy will abort it. Last year didn’t cancel it.
Now, I must warn you of the fine print. This passage refers to words that come from God’s mouth; our words do not have the same authority (sorry to the manifestation enthusiasts). The key to this verse is that we must still ourselves enough to become aware of what the word from God is. What has He spoken about you? What is His vision for your year-not your vision for your year. There is power in aligning with whatever plan God has, instead of bulldozing through life with our big plans. Think about it, wouldn’t you much rather have the guarantee of being in the failure-proof word of God than diving into your own plans? I know I would.
People have well-meaning intentions, but can never provide this level of security. Government and society change too frequently to truly have the credibility of coming through for every word spoken. On the other hand, God created the entire universe-in heaven and below-solely by His spoken word. You owe it to yourself to invest time into listening more than talking. Hear from heaven on what the plans are for this new year, and get on board. It is the only plan that, no matter the trials, will be fully accomplished.
Write down what He spoke to you, and read it aloud. Then declare “it is so” until you believe it.
Prayer
God, today I love You more than the plans I have crafted for my own life without consulting You. I love You more than the standard of success that culture presents to me. Before I go any further into this year, I lay my plans aside and welcome Your insight. I give You permission to make edits and deletions as you see fit. Have your way. I know that the safest place for me is in Your perfect will. Thank you for walking with me today and every day. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Purify me: A message from God’s heart.
“Right now you don’t really want the thing I have for you. Not the real marriage I have for you, not the business run with true integrity, not the ministry that requires living above reproach. You still value being adored, coddled, and chosen more. You still want people to see that you’re worthy because a man chose you and that makes you feel worthy. That’s why you settled for a level where people could cheer for you and find you without fault, but not stretch you, challenge you, or wash you with My word.
Before I release you, you need to KNOW that I adore you, choose you, and make you worthy. Regardless of any man or woman’s co-sign. Seek Me first. Get comfortable believing Me first. That way when the attacks on your marriage come, it won’t also be able to attack your identity and worth. When attacks come for your business, ministry, and purpose, you will be so grounded in me that you won’t be easily swayed.
I’m protecting you from being broken by the thing you’re praying for.
The same goes for your platform. The platform I need to trust you with. I need to trust that you won’t compromise its holiness for voids that I’m trying to fill now. Wait for Me. Like Hannah, I gave you the desire that you can’t shake. I gave it to you! And I intend for you to have it. How long are you willing to be purified first?”