Go Boldly.
“Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:39)
“And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.” (Romans 8:30)
Go boldly, with the knowledge that I love you anyway.
When I was in school, I used to dread when it came time to choose partners or teams for a project or sporting event. I would immediately begin to sweat when the teacher would announce that we were able to pick our own groups. I would immediately avert eye contact to avoid the sinking feeling of being left out. The same way it was hard for me to anticipate being looked over in the classroom, I had a hard time in my adulthood accepting that the God of the universe would intentionally choose me. But can I tell you, He did.
-Knowing all of the facts.
-Knowing things you’ve hidden.
-Knowing things you haven’t even dicovered yet.
-Knowing the good, the bad, and the unholy.
If He chose you, and continues to choose you daily, it’s time to jump on the bandwagon and find out what made Him fall in love. A journey to wholeness is a journey to getting back to the girl God fell in love with. Go in with the security that succeed or fail, His loving gaze never falters. You might as well give it your all. Loving yourself is the first step! Once you internalize that the love of God will never be taken off the table, what is stopping you from boldly walking in the fullness of the life He envisions for you?
Prayer:
Lord, thank you for looking beyond my flaws, and seeing my value. Thank you for knowing everything about me and not being scared away by my mess. Thank you for choosing me even when I couldn’t choose myself. Thank you for thinking I was worth life even when I ignored you. I dedicate myself to the process of loving you first, and then loving myself. Help me to forgive myself for knowing better and not doing better. Help me to accept that once you forgave me, you threw my action into a sea of forgetfulness. I declare that I am free and I receive your love! I love You more than I believe the lie that I could ever do enough to separate me from Your love. I will go boldly forward into my purpose and dreams, without fear of you not loving me. In Jesus name, amen.
Imposter syndrome.
“And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.” (Romans 8:30)
‘Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.'“ (Matthew 28:30)
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
All of my life I have struggled with perfection. The idea that, unless something is done without blemish, it is not truly complete began somewhere in my childhood and admittedly still taunts me in my twenties. In my first year teaching Kindergarten, I was awakened to the detrimental effect that perfectionism can have on an individual. I found myself critiquing everything I did at work, in relationships, and even with God. Any compliments or affirmation I received sent me into a frenzy of feeling invisible. Somehow I thought that if people complimented me despite the “many” flaws that existed in my mind, that somehow they were not really seeing me. It’s crazy how the devil can so twist your own perception of yourself that when light tries to get in, it is unrecognizable. This feeling of not truly being what people saw me as transferred into my relationships, especially the one I was developing with God. I was praying more and could hear God speaking to me frequently. Yet the voice from within continued to point an accusatory finger at me. This voice reminded me of all the ways I had fallen short in my past, the mistakes I was still learning from, and it pointed out all the other “better” Christians who were more suited for my purpose. See, I could tell that God had given me a gift of being able to articulate my thoughts and gain insight from His word. I knew that He was calling me to use my words for His kingdom but the voice inside continued to whisper “you’re a fraud. Who are you to tell anybody anything?”
I would love to tell you that with one Spirit-filled prayer I was suddenly freed from all doubts and insecurities. Realistically, though, the battle for my mind to align with the thoughts God has for me is a daily one. I can say that one of the biggest reasons for my refusal to give up is the Word. In the midst of feeling like God should have called someone else, Romans 8:29-30 reminded me of the intentionality of God. It reminded me that God is so meticulous with details, and so soveriegn in His plans, that if He called me I could rest assured that He was going to affirm every step of the process. In fact, my love for God did not develop because I had all of the answers. My love for God developed, grew, and pours out now to those around me because even when I did not have a single answer, He stayed by my side and whispered sweet everything’s into my spirit. He told me in Isaiah 54 that no weapon formed (yes, they will be formed) against me will be able to prosper, even when that weapon is a tongue; even when that weapon is myself. He assured me repeatedly that though there are few constants in life, His presence is as sure as the sun rising each morning.
How about you? Have you ever felt like the calling on your life, the job you were working, the relationship you were in was too good for you? You are not alone! Know that even in our imperfection, there is a perfect God who knows what we don’t. Instead of thinking about all the ways you are NOT qualified, what are some things you know that make God qualified to work this out on your behalf?
I’ll start….
He sent His only son Jesus for the sole purpose of introducing Himself to you and dying so that you could have access to His power and salvation. He thought you were to DIE for.
Trust the coach.
“Count it all joy when you face various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” (James 1:2-3)
I’ll be the first to admit that working out has never been something I yearn to do. I’m one of those people who cannot be trusted to just go to my neighborhood gym with nothing but some music and my own creativity. I know I will never push myself as hard as I need to in order to see the results I want. This is why I participate in a gym that is structured with plenty of accountability and progress monitoring. There is a coach who knows me by name; who calls me out when I slow down before time is up; who ultimately pushes me to my actual limit instead of the one I have set for myself. It is with a coach that I actually begin to see results.
As it is in the natural, so it is in the spirit. Imagine that God is our coach, and the trials of life are our proverbial gym. I wonder if, as humans, we think we know our own limits and resist the pressures that would produce the strength and character necessary to develop into who we were called to be. I believe we attribute too many pressures to the devil instead of acknowledging that God, our coach, is wisely orchestrating our lives in a way that bring about true growth instead of comfort.
Just as a physical trainer knows not to add too much weight before your muscles can withstand it, how much more does our Heavenly Father know our true limits? Our job, then, is not to complain and rebuke every pressure, but to “count it all joy when [we] face various trials, knowing that the testing of [our] faith produces patience. (James 1:2-3).” This requires faith. Faith says that “this season is pressing me on all sides, but I know that God has already ordered my steps and determined that it will all work for my good.” In this season, how can you be more intentional about trusting God with even the discomfort of stretching?
Prayer
Dear God, thank you for being sovereign. Thank you for reminding me that your thoughts are not my thoughts, and your ways are not my ways. Thank you for reminding me that even though it does not always feel good, You allow pressures to make me strong enough for where You want to take me. I release my need to have all the answers before I trust You. Help me to trust Your wisdom and Your plan. I love You more than comfort. Amen
Admit you want it.
“...and the Lord remembered [Hannah].” (1 Samuel 1: 19)
When I decided to get drastically intentional with my walk for God, it was not solely based on my new love for Him. While I was growing a new passion for getting closer to Him, the truth was that I was running from the pain of yet another heartbreak. I had been stubborn, and had allowed my desire to be wanted to come before my standards, my God, and my own well-being. I knew that I was supposed to be a wife but I was picking wrong every single time. And finally, I was tired. I was tired of giving every ounce of myself, and even finding ways to become what I wasn’t for people who had no intention of staying. I finally ran out of my own strength and ran into God.
What have you been expending your own energy, strength, and techniques for? Be real! There is a woman in the Bible who knows exactly what it feels like to have a deep desire for something, and not see it come to pass quickly. Her name is Hannah, and you can read her story in the book of 1 Samuel. Hannah had a successful marriage, she was in relationship with God, but she desired to have a child. Like you and I, she knew that it was possible to be blessed in one area and still left wanting in another. Instead of reacting like some of us and complaining to anyone with an open ear, Hannah brought her desires to the Lord. She made a vow that if she was blessed with a son, she would dedicate him back to the Lord. In His timing, 1 Samuel 1:19 tells us that “the Lord remembered [Hannah]” and she was blessed with a son, Samuel.
Just like Hannah, it is not sinful to have desires and dreams. In fact, often times they come from God himself. Take some time to pray and ask God to reveal the desires that come from Him, and those that did not. Then ask Him how you can use that blessing to bless Him in return.
Prayer
Lord, thank you for hearing my prayers. Thank you for giving me the desires of my heart, and for giving me clarity when I am not sure where the desire comes from. I pray that you would show me the desires that come from you, and give me vision for how the blessing can be used for your glory. I love you more than my timeline. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Begin.
“He who has begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6)
Today is the first day of a life shift! What are you hoping that this next season produces? What is your mindset about being intentional about God this year? In 2018 my intentionality took the form of cutting off all dating and male friendships for a year. I will be the first to admit that I ran from the idea of giving up an entire year. I thought, “God, what if a better opportunity comes in month 3? Then what?” I contemplated all the potential dates I would miss out on, with no proof that these imaginary dates or men would actually materialize. I was full of excuses. Then I had to make my first declaration: I love You more.
More than the potential “loss” I may suffer.
More than needing to know every detail to come.
More than my normal coping mechanisms.
At that point, I fully surrendered to the process, not knowing what exactly that “process” would involve. So, I ask you again, what are you hoping this season produces? What is your mindset about setting this year apart? The Bible says that we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:9); we must understand that in order to gain what we have never had, we must be willing to do what we’ve never done. Are you tired of getting the same results in your dating life? Are you feeling passionless in your job or career? Are you feeling distant from God, or want to begin a brand new journey with Christ? These are all perfect reasons to give your life a strong reset. Will it be hard? Undoubtedly. Will it be lonely? At times. Will you want to give up? I certainly did. Is it worth it? Let me know what you think on day 365. I know my life has completely changed for the better.