Does God sell dreams?
Selling Dreams: What to do when God doesn’t do what you secretly wished He would?
When I finished my year of consecration, of course, I felt ecstatic and more proud of myself than I had in my entire life. Even graduating college felt like a close second. I was so in awe of God’s grace and my own ability to actually stick to something. But do you know what else I felt? I felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment. You see, as I was seeking God for a closer relationship with Him, secretly I was hoping that at the end of my commitment my Prince Charming would be my “reward”. I never told my friends, or really even admitted it to myself, but subconsciously I had created this prize of a romantic partner at the end of my commitment. I was faced with being upset with God for something He never told me I would get. This realization really humbled me. Here I was, congratulating myself on a job well done: you sought God for an entire year and were so content! Meanwhile, inwardly I was having a childlike tantrum.
One night during my quiet time with God, I wrote this in my journal and I pray it helps you whenever you are faced with hope deferred.
Dear Dad,
I am feeling a little discouraged because at the end of 365 I was subconsciously holding out hope for my “him”. When I asked how to wait on your timing; how to become comfortable with something that didn’t go my way, I hear you saying “remember who you’re talking to.”
So I choose to remember that You are faithful. Your word says you will withhold no good thing from me (Psalm 84:11). The righteous have never been forsaken, and even their seed (children) have never had to beg for bread (Psalm 37:25). That means my children will have everything they need, including a strong father that You have sent. That means that the man You have for me is already a part of your master plan. That means the job I’m praying for has already crossed your mind. That means the godly community I need in this new season has already been allotted for.
You knew the desire of Adam’s heart, and he was unaware but it was You who knew the timing for when Eve would come. He trusted that You were working for him while he worked for You. I pray that You would still my heart and help me to remember that You are my greatest reward. I will be satisfied with You. Help my unbelief.
In Jesus’ name,
amen
