Love does not envy.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
A few years ago I got a lesson in the maturity required to combat envy. My best friend was finally in a relationship that honored her, treasured her, and pushed her towards Christ! This was something we had both prayed for after struggling in the past. All good right? Yes, until seeds of envy were planted in my heart because the same had not happened for me. I was at a crossroads. This was my best friend and I wanted to be happy for her answered prayer! It genuinely brought me joy to see her finally being treated like a queen. So why was it still difficult to hear about this new guy, especially on days when I felt lonely? Envy. The dictionary defines envy as “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.” You know what stands out the most? These feelings of discontentment and resentful longing are aroused by seeing someone else with the thing we are lacking. A desire is just a desire until I see someone else get blessed before me! Envy directly opposes the ability to be glad for someone.
As we study the version of love that God models for us and commands of us, let us be on guard against the enemy’s schemes to ensnare us with envy. Envy lies dormant until you are placed in a position, like Hannah, where God is making you wait while someone else gets theirs first (1 Samuel 1). Disney love pretends to be happy for a friend while silently nursing comparison. Agape love transparently shares in moments when it feels hard to support, and pushes past the discomfort. Yes, there were days I admitted to my friend “I am so happy this happened. At the same time, today is hard for me to hear how amazing he is.” However, God’s perfect love strengthens us to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). We are called to do life with each other! As a friend, we may not be in the same seasons at the same time, but I want you to win. Love says “I want you to have all that God has for you even if I have to wait for mine.”
Where are you vulnerable to envy? How can you walk in agape love?
Prayer:
Lord, sometimes I struggle with seeing others blessed while I wait. If I’m honest, I start to judge whether or not they deserve your kindness. Help me to remember that you have blessed me even when I haven’t deserved it! Help me to walk in gratitude and in faith that you will withhold no good thing from me. If I don’t have it right now, it’s not good for me now. Help me to walk in agape love. In Jesus’ name, amen.
