What kind of love is this?
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Lord, deliver me from perfectionism! If I know anything about God, I know that none of His children ever suffer alone. Let that encourage you today. Whatever you may be facing or battling, there is at LEAST one more sister in Christ who has either made it safely to the other side, is in your same shoes right now, or will be soon. For me, perfectionism stems from a deeper issue of believing that I have to perform in order to receive real love. Performance-based love is a cross that I carry for myself and those who also struggle. It is the perverted mindset that in order to receive love, I must constantly do the right things and stay on a person’s “good side” for fear of that love being snatched away. This is where perfection creeps in, suggesting that absolute perfection is the only safeguard against abandonment. You see, when people drop you often enough, you start to instinctively reach out to catch yourself. This is wonderful for survival of the fittest, yet detrimental to a faith walk.
Perfection on my part leaves no room for dependency on God.
One morning I stumbled upon this scripture that talks of a remedy for fear! I was thrilled...until I read what my saving grace would be. Perfect love?! Lord, I thought you were moving me away from perfection! My brain immediately went to all the ways that I was imperfect, or the ways that my love for and from others was less than perfect. Holy Spirit reminded me that in the bible “perfect” doesn’t mean the same as it does in society right now. Jesus is the only perfect, meaning flawless, human. Here, to perfect is to mature, or be fully grown/developed. As I read the scripture again, I saw “[mature] love drives out fear.” Very practically, I thought about how my boyfriend loved me in a mature way: consistently, with good communication and without pettiness. I thought about how those characteristics freed me to start letting my walls down, thus driving out fear.
Then I thought about how God’s truly perfect love is so all-encompassing and complete that the more I learn, the less I can stay broken and fearful. When I read scriptures that tell me absolutely nothing can separate me from the love of Christ (Romans 8:38-39), I know I can move forward without fear of one day God changing His mind about me. Consistent love, dependable love, unconditional love, drives out fear. Even if people miss the mark, know that God loves you with a spotlessly perfect love. I pray that you would also be surrounded by human mature love, such that fear can try, but won’t succeed in stopping you from becoming everything you were called to be. In this year of consecration, I pray that you would be made perfect: mature, not flawless, in the love of God.
Prayer
Dad, I love You more than trying to work my way into your love. I accept that it is free through Jesus Christ. Amen.
