The value of humanity.

“On hearing this, Jesus said to them, ‘it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.’” (Mark 2:17)

Do you ever fall into sin and think “Lord, I should be past this”? I know I do! It seems that no matter how long I go in my Bible app streak, how many consecutive Sundays I serve, or how often I share scripture on my feed…my humanity is always present. An initial reaction to the awareness of sin in your own heart is often shame, guilt, disappointment, and even grief. I believe God gives us the ability to feel these things so that we have the capacity to understand the consequences of wrong choices. We ought to be grieved when we grieve the heart of God. In fact, be very concerned when sin no longer breaks your heart! While we can feel these emotions and absolutely repent for the sin, God does not glory from our wallowing in shame and condemnation. Romans 8:1 assures us that there is no condemnation for those of us who have surrendered our lives to Jesus Christ!

Sin is traumatic. It makes us aware of how our very nature makes us far from God. Because we were created for a close relationship with God, sensing that separation is heartbreaking. But thank God for Jesus! The only perfect human, the only one to never sin. The one who came to save us from ourselves.

I wonder if we would appreciate a savior as much if we were not constantly falling short of the glory of God. Would we love God more if we got it all right or if He constantly loved us even when we get it wrong? What if our humanity, not our perfection, makes Him look even better? What if missing the mark is what showcases His “Savior” quality? Would He still look like a savior if I never got myself into some mess?

Prayer:

Lord, what if my addiction to appearing perfect is impeding your ability to REALLY get the glory? What if I finally embraced the process, and took the viewpoint that my imperfections and my good days both point not to me, but to Your goodness. Get the glory from the sum total of my life, Lord. Help me to develop discipline and do better, but also to worship you all the more for your love in spite of me.

“You can’t die here.”

“I would have fainted, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13)

I have been blessed with incredible friends in the different seasons of my life. In one season of feeling isolated and far from God, my friend Lei and I would text each other these words: “hold it!” and “you can’t die here.” It was our way of encouraging each other to endure through the hard season. This scripture from the psalmist is your beacon of hope today. He writes “I would have fainted,” or given up. Is life stretching you to your limit? Do you feel worn from trying to live for God? It’s okay to admit when your strength is running out.

The second part of the verse, “…if I had not believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” is an anchor in the storm. It says that in seasons of hardship and disappointment, it may not change right away. Tomorrow may not immediately come with clear skies, but will you believe anyway? Your belief is what will ground you until the situation changes. Will you believe that God is working ALL things together for your good? Will you believe that his plans are to give you a hope and a future? “In the land of the living” means that I won’t die before I see God’s goodness. That doesn’t mean I am guaranteed a new car, a million dollars, or fame before I die, but I will experience the goodness of God firsthand. Will you perceive it (Isaiah 43:19)?

So keep watch, sis. Keep an eye out for the goodness of God. Keep an eye out for an act of His love. Wake up every morning in expectation of how your life can be beautiful. Wake up with a new determination to outlast this season and live to tell the story of how God was good to you.

In case nobody’s told you lately: you can’t die here.

Prayer:

Lord, I am tired. I feel so stretched and out of my comfort zone in this season. Nobody fully understands what I have been going through this year, this month, this week. But you do. Give me strength for this day, Lord. Help me to take one day at a time and help my unbelief. I will not die here. I will see your goodness. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Does God sell dreams?

Selling Dreams: What to do when God doesn’t do what you secretly wished He would?

When I finished my year of consecration, of course, I felt ecstatic and more proud of myself than I had in my entire life. Even graduating college felt like a close second. I was so in awe of God’s grace and my own ability to actually stick to something. But do you know what else I felt? I felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment. You see, as I was seeking God for a closer relationship with Him, secretly I was hoping that at the end of my commitment my Prince Charming would be my “reward”. I never told my friends, or really even admitted it to myself, but subconsciously I had created this prize of a romantic partner at the end of my commitment. I was faced with being upset with God for something He never told me I would get. This realization really humbled me. Here I was, congratulating myself on a job well done: you sought God for an entire year and were so content! Meanwhile, inwardly I was having a childlike tantrum. 

One night during my quiet time with God, I wrote this in my journal and I pray it helps you whenever you are faced with hope deferred. 

Dear Dad, 

I am feeling a little discouraged because at the end of 365 I was subconsciously holding out hope for my “him”. When I asked how to wait on your timing; how to become comfortable with something that didn’t go my way, I hear you saying “remember who you’re talking to.”

So I choose to remember that You are faithful. Your word says you will withhold no good thing from me (Psalm 84:11). The righteous have never been forsaken, and even their seed (children) have never had to beg for bread (Psalm 37:25). That means my children will have everything they need, including a strong father that You have sent. That means that the man You have for me is already a part of your master plan. That means the job I’m praying for has already crossed your mind. That means the godly community I need in this new season has already been allotted for. 

You knew the desire of Adam’s heart, and he was unaware but it was You who knew the timing for when Eve would come. He trusted that You were working for him while he worked for You. I pray that You would still my heart and help me to remember that You are my greatest reward. I will be satisfied with You. Help my unbelief.

In Jesus’ name,

amen

Consequences of a false start.

“‘And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.’”

(Genesis 17:20-21)

Have you ever been out in public and see someone waving excitedly at you? At least, you think they’re waving at you until you realize they’re actually waving at the person next to or behind you. ‘Grade A’ awkwardness right there. Jump now to the Bible, more specifically, the story of Abraham and Sarah’s promise from God, a child in their old age. I have heard sermons taught on the error of Sarai and Abram’s impatience or even the perspective of how God can turn our disobedience in our favor. But I have not heard a message from the perspective of Ishmael. I wonder what it felt like for him to know he was born to a mighty faith leader like Abraham, but also to know that his half-brother Isaac was the intended promise of God, not him. I never considered Ishmael’s feelings until my early twenties, when I first felt the ability to empathize. My parents were very young, right out of college, when both my sister and I were born. Growing up, I was very aware of how hard it was for them to raise young children while juggling post-grad life themselves. Even in terms of dating conversations, my mother made sure that my sister and I knew not to marry young because we couldn’t possibly know who we were well enough to be prepared. Of course, there is wisdom in that perspective. There is so much I am still learning at 23, 24, 25 years old. However, one day in church I realized that I had internalized the idea that my parents struggled as a direct result of my birth. I thought that I was such a burden that they would adamantly advise against anyone going down a similar path. Without them saying anything close, the devil had planted the lie. It was not until I sat still with God that He was able to show me the lies that had been planted in my spirit, and He began to combat each lie with His truth.

So, this entry is for those who have looked at the lives around you, and your life doesn’t look like people were intentional about your beginning. You may have been neglected or abused as a child and led to believe that your life is a burden. As you grew, that weed of a lie has grown with you but I thank God for the victory to destroy chains! The Bible says “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you; to give you a hope and a future.” This means that while your Earthly family might have been surprised about your birth, the God of the universe had already cemented His plans for your life! He had already called you to be used for His purpose! He had already declared that “no weapon formed against you should prosper” and “every tongue that rises up against you shall be condemned.” Your God is so intentional about you, baby. Let that sink in! It’s the reason your life has been spared even in the mistakes you make, and even when you are not as intentional about God. Be encouraged! If you’re wondering what happened to Ishmael, God continued to provide for Ishmael and Hagar although they had moments when they turned to other idols. Be confident in this: God is faithful, and all He wants is a willing and repentant heart. 

Journal today: What is God saying to me? What have I internalized about myself that goes against what He says about me? Where have I been responsible for creating “Ishmaels”?

Prayer:

God, thank you for being intentional about me. Thank you that you are never surprised or caught off guard. Nobody can love me like you. Please help me to understand my worth if I ever felt like Ishmael, and please forgive me for the times I have made someone else feel like Ishmael because I was too impatient to wait for your promise. I trust that you work all things together for my good. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Name it.

“So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found.” (Genesis 2:20)

I have read the story of creation no less than a million times. However, each time I read the story of how God made everything from nothing, something new jumps out. The most recent revelation involves Adam and his assignment pre-Eve. Did you know that God is the one who acknowledged that it wasn’t good for man to be alone? Adam did not have to tell God “this is not working. I need help” because his Father knew him better than he knew himself. That is point one. The next point is that after God acknowledged this need, He did not immediately jump to remedy the situation in the way we would presume. That would be genie behavior; God is sovereign. Instead, this is how it played out: Adam is created, given a purpose and boundaries (Genesis 2:15-16). Then, God remarks that it is not good for man to be alone and decides to make Adam’s suitable helper. Here’s the key, though: He did not immediately bring Eve to Adam. Instead, here comes the test: God begins to present Adam with animal after animal, bird after bird, and waited to see what Adam would call it. Did you miss it? God says “I will make Adam’s suitable helper” then presents all these options that are NOT Eve. It was not until Adam had named elephants, zebras, lions, and eagles that God put him to sleep and brought His plan A. After you pass the test of discernment, get ready for the rest that comes when God takes control of matchmaking, job opportunities, friendships, church home, etc. 

What if God knows that you are not at your most efficient alone, but you keep mistaking the zebra for your “suitable helper”? What if your tendency to settle too soon is your obstacle, not that God has forgotten you! It was not until Adam had named each animal for what it was and proved that he had the discernment that God could trust him with Eve. When he saw Eve, he also discerned that she was not to be classified as the other animals. Instead, he immediately recognized “bone of my bone! Flesh of my flesh!” I believe that God had your suitable helper picked before you were formed in your mother’s womb. How do I know? God gave man and woman their purpose, blessed them, and gave them dominion in the spirit realm in Genesis chapter 1--before Adam even had a body or a need. That’s how intentional your God is! Do not be deceived by the enemy. God is concerned about the details concerning you, especially your partner in purpose. Rest assured, when you are ready; when the man is able to discern between the non-examples and his helpmeet, God will bring you in. 

What if it’s not that you are undesirable, but that God is working on His son, ensuring that he has the character and wisdom to recognize and steward over you well?

Prayer

God, you are so amazing! Your word says that You knew me before I was formed in my mother’s womb. You had plans for me then, so how could I believe that You don’t care when it comes to my future husband? Thank you for your word that sheds light on truth! I will trust you with my love life. I trust that You will withhold no good thing from me, that You are fully aware of timing, and when the time is right, it will come together. Thank you for developing us both as individuals so that we will steward each other well.  I love You! In Jesus’ name, amen.