What kind of love is this?

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Lord, deliver me from perfectionism! If I know anything about God, I know that none of His children ever suffer alone. Let that encourage you today. Whatever you may be facing or battling, there is at LEAST one more sister in Christ who has either made it safely to the other side, is in your same shoes right now, or will be soon.  For me, perfectionism stems from a deeper issue of believing that I have to perform in order to receive real love. Performance-based love is a cross that I carry for myself and those who also struggle. It is the perverted mindset that in order to receive love, I must constantly do the right things and stay on a person’s “good side” for fear of that love being snatched away. This is where perfection creeps in, suggesting that absolute perfection is the only safeguard against abandonment. You see, when people drop you often enough, you start to instinctively reach out to catch yourself. This is wonderful for survival of the fittest, yet detrimental to a faith walk. 

Perfection on my part leaves no room for dependency on God. 

One morning I stumbled upon this scripture that talks of a remedy for fear! I was thrilled...until I read what my saving grace would be. Perfect love?! Lord, I thought you were moving me away from perfection! My brain immediately went to all the ways that I was imperfect, or the ways that my love for and from others was less than perfect. Holy Spirit reminded me that in the bible “perfect” doesn’t mean the same as it does in society right now. Jesus is the only perfect, meaning flawless, human. Here, to perfect is to mature, or be fully grown/developed. As I read the scripture again, I saw “[mature] love  drives out fear.” Very practically, I thought about how my boyfriend loved me in a mature way: consistently, with good communication and without pettiness. I thought about how those characteristics freed me to start letting my walls down, thus driving out fear.

Then I thought about how God’s truly perfect love is so all-encompassing and complete that the more I learn, the less I can stay broken and fearful. When I read scriptures that tell me absolutely nothing can separate me from the love of Christ (Romans  8:38-39), I know I can move forward without fear of one day God changing His mind about me. Consistent love, dependable love, unconditional love, drives out fear. Even if people miss the mark, know that God loves you with a spotlessly perfect love. I pray that you would also be surrounded by human mature love, such that fear can try, but won’t succeed in stopping you from becoming everything you were called to be. In this year of consecration, I pray that you would be made perfect: mature, not flawless, in the love of God. 

Prayer

Dad, I love You more than trying to work my way into your love. I accept that it is free through Jesus Christ. Amen. 

Love does not envy.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

A few years ago I got a lesson in the maturity required to combat envy. My best friend was finally in a relationship that honored her, treasured her, and pushed her towards Christ! This was something we had both prayed for after struggling in the past. All good right? Yes, until seeds of envy were planted in my heart because the same had not happened for me. I was at a crossroads. This was my best friend and I wanted to be happy for her answered prayer! It genuinely brought me joy to see her finally being treated like a queen. So why was it still difficult to hear about this new guy, especially on days when I felt lonely? Envy. The dictionary defines envy as “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.” You know what stands out the most? These feelings of discontentment and resentful longing are aroused by seeing someone else with the thing we are lacking. A desire is just a desire until I see someone else get blessed before me! Envy directly opposes the ability to be glad for someone.

As we study the version of love that God models for us and commands of us, let us be on guard against the enemy’s schemes to ensnare us with envy. Envy lies dormant until you are placed in a position, like Hannah, where God is making you wait while someone else gets theirs first (1 Samuel 1). Disney love pretends to be happy for a friend while silently nursing comparison. Agape love transparently shares in moments when it feels hard to support, and pushes past the discomfort. Yes, there were days I admitted to my friend “I am so happy this happened. At the same time, today is hard for me to hear how amazing he is.” However, God’s perfect love strengthens us to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). We are called to do life with each other! As a friend, we may not be in the same seasons at the same time, but I want you to win. Love says “I want you to have all that God has for you even if I have to wait for mine.”

Where are you vulnerable to envy? How can you walk in agape love?

Prayer:

Lord, sometimes I struggle with seeing others blessed while I wait. If I’m honest, I start to judge whether or not they deserve your kindness. Help me to remember that you have blessed me even when I haven’t deserved it! Help me to walk in gratitude and in faith that you will withhold no good thing from me. If I don’t have it right now, it’s not good for me now. Help me to walk in agape love. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Love is kind.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:35

As a kindergarten teacher, I use the word kind very often. It helps to remedy 5-year old drama and can sound like an easy elementary skill. We teach children from a young age to be kind to one another—sharing, keeping hands to themselves, etc. Let us humble ourselves today, like children, and re-learn kindness.

In this popular verse defining love, the word kind is derived from the Greek word “chrestos” meaning serviceable or good. Now, these words seem so basic at surface level, until we realize that this specific Greek word usually refers to the character of God instead of people. For example, in 1 Peter 2:3, we see chrestos as Peter says “now that you have tasted that the Lord is good (kind).” Again in Luke, Jesus uses the word to compare human kindness to the chrestos kindness of God. He points to the way that our version of kindness is usually limited to those who we think to deserve it. Human kindness simply reciprocates positive energy. We give compliments when someone compliments us first. We are pained when we give a gift but don’t get one in return. Even as a teacher, it is easier to be kind to the students who follow directions and participate more.

This is not at all to be equated with the immeasurable and inherent kindness of God. For He does not let His kindness depend on our behavior, but is kind because of His perfect character. He sent Jesus to die for our sins—knowing we would refuse him and live our own way. He is kind. He keeps breath in our lungs even though we use that breath to sin against Him. He is kind.

English is such a limiting language. How can one word refer to both a child sharing a cookie and Yahweh’s treatment of us? Thank God for the Greeks!

So today, as we seek to understand and replicate God’s version of love, let us also seek to be kind as he is kind. Being kind to someone who can return the favor: human. Being kind to someone who may never say thank you or change their ways: Christ-like.

Which are you?

Prayer:

Lord thank you for your unfailing kindness towards me! Thank you that you didn’t wait for me to deserve it before you showed me kindness. I repent for every time I have withheld kindness from someone based on their behavior. Help me to be more like you today. I know it doesn’t mean anything to be kind to someone who deserves it; even sinners do that (Luke 6:33). Instead, help me to rely on your spirit to love those who hate me, and bless those who curse me. Thank you for being an example. I love You more than what comes naturally. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Love is…patient.

“Love is patient;” 1 Corinthians 13:4(a)

The pink and red candies and balloons are in almost every store. Commercials for jewelry and “perfect” couples are on a constant loop. As we enter the month of February, let’s revisit the way Paul defines love, the perfect love of God. It is so easy to rush through scripture and we could read all of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 in one day, but we won’t.

The first part of verse 4 says that love is patient. Let’s not assume that we all understand the true nature of patience. In the Greek, the word for patience ‘makrothymei’ means to suffer or bear long. Patient here is not to wait idly, waiting for something to happen. This kind of patience will cost me something. Imagine praying for a loved one as they continue down the wrong path. Patience. Imagine listening as a friend tells you about yet another failed relationship and you pray with them again, hoping that this time will be the time they turn to God. Patience. It’s grieving with someone as long as they need, past when it’s convenient for you.

Patience is hard. I start to feel entitled to rush someone else’s process. I forget how patiently God waited for me to get saved. I forget that every day He waits, knowing that I will sin every day until Jesus returns. From the moment Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, God has been waiting for his creation to return to him. And He didn’t withold his love until we got it right. Instead, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, giving everyone the option to have a relationship with the Father (Romans 5:8).

What’s patient love? Patient love keeps the door open. Patient love says “I will love you however long it takes.”

Prayer:

God, wow. You love me so patiently! I remember when I was far from you for so long, but you never gave up on me. Thank you so much. Please help me show this patient love to someone else today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Journal Prompt:

Who is God placing on your heart who needs patient love? How can you reflect God’s love to them?

Asleep in the storm.

 “He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. 27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” (Matthew 8:26-27)

I love the Bible. I love the bible for a myriad of reasons, but today I love it because of the way that it highlights not only the divinity of our Savior, but his humanity. In this text in Matthew, there is a glimpse of the humanity of Jesus in that he needed a nap. I don’t know about you all but I have been a sucker for a good nap all of my life. At times I can get overwhelmed by how many miracles he performed and the overall perfection of Jesus. Tiny details like this help me to feel a new closeness to God. 

In Matthew’s account of this story, the disciples are faced with a storm while they are sailing to their next destination. To put this in perspective, traveling by boat already comes with some instability due to floating on water. I can not imagine the discomfort of riding on an unstable surface with the added pressure of unstable weather conditions. But then again, I can think of my own life. I can think back on times of uncertainty. I remember being so broke I couldn’t afford an uber to class, being in a toxic relationship, and trying to figure out my life post-graduation. I remember being quarantined, businesses and daily life globally being put on pause as a result of the COVID19 virus in 2020. So no, I may not have been on a literal boat, but I have been on some wavy surfaces. What about you? Can you think of a time when storms raged around you and caused genuine fear? You can be honest here, girl! So we understand why the disciples woke the sleeping Jesus in a panic! However, with them as an example, how can we actively try to respond differently when our own storms threaten our stability?

When Jesus woke up, he did not condemn them for waking him up from his nap. That lets us know that God WANTS us to come to him when we are faced with the wind and waves that are rocking our boat. Us coming to Him shows that we know He is the one who can save us, and I believe seeking God in the storm is an act of worship. It says “if I didn’t believe you could help, I wouldn’t come to you.” Instead, the problem is the state of mind they were in when they came to him. Fear. The Bible says that “without faith it is impossible to please God.” And when Jesus woke to panicked disciples who had been walking with him and knew the power he possessed, he said “you of little faith, why are you so afraid? (Matthew 8:26)” This suggests that allowing fear to take root in our hearts impacts our ability to truly walk in faith. The very thing that we need to please God is impeded when  we make decisions in, and internalize fear. This convicted me! How long have I been walking with God, witnessing His might and power, only to come to him full of fear? 

Prayer

Father God, I thank you for sending Jesus who was fully human enough to understand me and fully God enough to save me. I pray that this year as the waves rumble and the thunder roar, we would continue to run to the savior who is with us even in the storm. But this time when we run to You, we run in worship. We will run to You lifting up others in praise. This time we run to Jesus setting the stage to let his might be showcased to all the Earth. God, today I love you more because even the wind and waves obey you! What a mighty God I serve! I will not be afraid.